Boot Camp, Sobriety & Gettin My Grown Woman On!

Current mood: awake

So as 2007 comes to a close, so is the era of temporary pleasures and drunken dreams. For the past 3 years, I've been wanting to get my shit straight. I know what your thinking, "But Miss Maxali, I though you shit was already straight!". Well as compared to crack addicts and serial killers…yes it is. But as compared to what I will eventually manifest for my life, no it's not. I finally realize that if I want to accomplish all the things I say I will (Make movies, win my Oscar, Get paid for creating art)…I've got to make room in my life. I've got to give up old patterns that don't suit me anymore and "get my grown woman on". How, you say?

• With over a dozen attempts to cut down on drinking in the past 3 years, I've finally did it. It's been two whole months since my last alcoholic beverage. I won't say that it's NOT tempting when I go out or go to dinner with friends…but it's much easier now that my focus is back. And I know it's a choice every time that temptation is there…it's a choice every time I go out or every time it's around me. It's even made me rethink the party scene. As depressing as it is…bars/clubs are just not fun with out alcohol. Which shouldn't be the case…but after 13 years of binge drinking my way through the bump of the bass, flashy décor & the "peacocks"…I've finally realized that clubs will never be the same fun as before I started drinking. BOO!

• So in that respect, I've also cut down on my "party party dancing dancing" time. And stepped up my "write some shit" or "read some good shit" time. Which is fine with me. But it is ironic since most of my good friends who weren't really into parties are all of a sudden into the party scene & want me to partake. But my response is usually "Why can't we just hang out & kick it some place that's NOT a club?"

• After a year of sitting on my ass and making up excuses why I just don't have time to exercise, I signed up for Boot Camp. The typical question I get asked when I mention Boot Camp is "You joined the army?" or "What's Boot Camp?" To clarify, I DID NOT (Nor will I ever) join the armed forces…f*ck that! Boot Camp is an exercise program a friend suggested when I said I needed to lose my muffin top. And yes, after a year of NOT working out…Miss Maxali is an owner of a gluttonous muffin top. Yikes! So after 4 days a week, for 4 weeks of Boot Camp & eating healthy…don't be surprised if you see me bringing back cut off shirts, L.A. Gear kicks and headbands.

• Then there's my Spiritual Health…which I would say 85% of the population don't feel the need to keep up. But for me…even growing up as a kid, I knew the importance of it. So as an adult I see the even greater importance of keeping it up, just as you would with any other aspect of yourself. And don't get it twisted, I don't mean man made Religion. I'm talking about a personal relationship with God, Goddess, The Universe, Great Creator, Jesus, Brahman, etc (whatever you wanna call it). So I'm reading books like The Artist's Way, The Secret, The Power of Now. And going back to church & fellowship (And although I don't believe 100% of what Christianity preaches, I'm mostly there for the community & worship aspect of it).

• Self-Love: It's taken me 27 years to finally realize how important loving yourself is. I'm not talking about waking up in the morning and kissing your biceps and thinking "damn, I look f*ckin good!" No, I'm talking about looking at who you are as a person, a spirit in human form, a piece of the universal collective & thinking "with all the shit I've done, mistakes I've made…I really love myself". And not looking for that love in empty places. Not looking for that love in other people, hoping they can validate your worth. Cuz ultimately, no one can love you like you love yourself.

All in all…it feels good to finally WANT to take care of my body & myself. To not only have dreams and goals, but to have the focus & control to drop all the unnecessary shit and go for it!