Wednesday, November 28, 2007

I miss IMPROV!

One of my favorite forms of acting has got to be Improv...Why do I enjoy it so much? Cuz it's when you don't let your mind take over and you just go with the flow of things and let the first impulse that pops outta your imagination lead you to a scene.

This past year, I've been blessed to be apart of an Improv Troupe founded by Playback Theater Champ, Jason Agar! Jason is a down ass dude that has a huge heart and a free spirit (and on certain days resembles a freindly elf like creature).
This time last year I signed up for a Playback Theater Workshop, not knowing what was in store. But after a couple of weeks of rehearsing (or "playing" as we like to call it) we got on stage and performed as Pinoy Playback Theater. It was the most fun I've ever had on stage (acting wise). And now I really miss it. I miss giving back to an audience in an artform so freeing & so positive!

Not that stand-up isn't giving back to a crowd of strangers, but stand-up is more about my opinions/views on the world or the stories I have. Playback is almost the opposite of that.

For those still confused, here's a brief definition of Playback Theater:
"Playback Theatre is created through a unique collaboration between performers and audience. Someone tells a story or moment from their life, chooses actors to play the different roles, then watches as their story is immediately recreated and given artistic shape and coherence.

Playback Theatre creates a ritual space where any story - however ordinary, extraordinary, hidden or difficult - might be told, and immediately made into theatre. And where each person's uniqueness is honoured and affirmed while at the same time building and strengthening our connections to each other as a community of people. "


August 2007: I-Hotel Pinoy Playback Performance for Kearny Street Workshop's APAture. Fluid Sculpture in motion.

Boot Camp, Sobriety & Gettin My Grown Woman On!

Current mood: awake

So as 2007 comes to a close, so is the era of temporary pleasures and drunken dreams. For the past 3 years, I've been wanting to get my shit straight. I know what your thinking, "But Miss Maxali, I though you shit was already straight!". Well as compared to crack addicts and serial killers…yes it is. But as compared to what I will eventually manifest for my life, no it's not. I finally realize that if I want to accomplish all the things I say I will (Make movies, win my Oscar, Get paid for creating art)…I've got to make room in my life. I've got to give up old patterns that don't suit me anymore and "get my grown woman on". How, you say?

• With over a dozen attempts to cut down on drinking in the past 3 years, I've finally did it. It's been two whole months since my last alcoholic beverage. I won't say that it's NOT tempting when I go out or go to dinner with friends…but it's much easier now that my focus is back. And I know it's a choice every time that temptation is there…it's a choice every time I go out or every time it's around me. It's even made me rethink the party scene. As depressing as it is…bars/clubs are just not fun with out alcohol. Which shouldn't be the case…but after 13 years of binge drinking my way through the bump of the bass, flashy décor & the "peacocks"…I've finally realized that clubs will never be the same fun as before I started drinking. BOO!

• So in that respect, I've also cut down on my "party party dancing dancing" time. And stepped up my "write some shit" or "read some good shit" time. Which is fine with me. But it is ironic since most of my good friends who weren't really into parties are all of a sudden into the party scene & want me to partake. But my response is usually "Why can't we just hang out & kick it some place that's NOT a club?"

• After a year of sitting on my ass and making up excuses why I just don't have time to exercise, I signed up for Boot Camp. The typical question I get asked when I mention Boot Camp is "You joined the army?" or "What's Boot Camp?" To clarify, I DID NOT (Nor will I ever) join the armed forces…f*ck that! Boot Camp is an exercise program a friend suggested when I said I needed to lose my muffin top. And yes, after a year of NOT working out…Miss Maxali is an owner of a gluttonous muffin top. Yikes! So after 4 days a week, for 4 weeks of Boot Camp & eating healthy…don't be surprised if you see me bringing back cut off shirts, L.A. Gear kicks and headbands.

• Then there's my Spiritual Health…which I would say 85% of the population don't feel the need to keep up. But for me…even growing up as a kid, I knew the importance of it. So as an adult I see the even greater importance of keeping it up, just as you would with any other aspect of yourself. And don't get it twisted, I don't mean man made Religion. I'm talking about a personal relationship with God, Goddess, The Universe, Great Creator, Jesus, Brahman, etc (whatever you wanna call it). So I'm reading books like The Artist's Way, The Secret, The Power of Now. And going back to church & fellowship (And although I don't believe 100% of what Christianity preaches, I'm mostly there for the community & worship aspect of it).

• Self-Love: It's taken me 27 years to finally realize how important loving yourself is. I'm not talking about waking up in the morning and kissing your biceps and thinking "damn, I look f*ckin good!" No, I'm talking about looking at who you are as a person, a spirit in human form, a piece of the universal collective & thinking "with all the shit I've done, mistakes I've made…I really love myself". And not looking for that love in empty places. Not looking for that love in other people, hoping they can validate your worth. Cuz ultimately, no one can love you like you love yourself.

All in all…it feels good to finally WANT to take care of my body & myself. To not only have dreams and goals, but to have the focus & control to drop all the unnecessary shit and go for it!

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

New Found Love For....The Single Life!

Yes, my fellow bloggers/Maxali inquisitors: I AM SINGLE & loving it!

Maybe it's 1/2 my hormones (ahhh, PMS...the ultimate Love/Hate relationship) or 1/2 my relization that personal growth sometimes requires the time alone...the time to be with yourself to reflect on who you really are...deep down inside when no one is looking. Not the person that other people think you are or the person society wants you to be...BUT YOU!

So on the road to finding & re-defining myself...I felt the need to be alone...to explore, to prioritize and to just have fun without having to answer to anyone but myself...

And that ladies & gents is my new found love for...the single life! YEEEEE!

A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity...

Q: Why haven't you written any blogs in such a long time, Miss Maxali?

NM: Well, I'm glad you asked...For the past month, beginning on September 4th...I've been rediscovering my creativity. Taking time out to write daily, my private thoughts/fears/aspirations/manifestations/opinions/ideas/foolishness/venting sessions/art

Q: HOW have you been "rediscovering" your creativity?

NM: Well, through my own spirituality and by reading "The Artists Way" by Julia Cameron.

Q: What's the "Artists Way"?

NM: Not to shamelessly plug the book...but more to give you an insight on how you too can rediscover those lost dreams. Or unleash your own creativity...

"The Artist's Way is the seminal book on the subject of creativity. An international bestseller, millions of readers have found it to be an invaluable guide to living the artist's life. Still as vital today-or perhaps even more so-than it was when it was first published one decade ago, it is a powerfully provocative and inspiring work. In a new introduction to the book, Julia Cameron reflects upon the impact of The Artist's Way and describes the work she has done during the last decade and the new insights into the creative process that she has gained. Updated and expanded, this anniversary edition reframes The Artist's Way for a new century."

Yes, so for a month now, I've dedicated myself to this 12 week program...or a 12 week process to allowing myself to create on a higher level.

NM: Here's a cheesey testimonial for ya'll...Just within one month of starting this process, I've been able to manifest:

1) A kick-ass IMPROV performance at this year's APATure: Pinoy Playback Theater

2) Produce my first Short Film: Simila-Shun Directed by Jeannie Barroga

3) Book my first Stand-Up Comedy Show: Bacio Cafe in San Mateo on October 4th

4) Write everyday!


Now with just one month into this process...just think what I can manifest in 12 weeks? I think the world will never be the same.


"Imagination is more important than knowledge."

- Albert Einstein

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Philippines in a CONCHshell...


Philippines in a Conchshell...
Current mood: grateful


Before leaving for the Philippines, my friends and roomies warned me about the poverty, the corruption, the lack of "simple pleasures". So I was prepared for no running water, no indoor/outdoor plumbing, mosquito attacks and as my mother calls "roughin it".

My cousin Sherelle wrote about her P.I. experience as giving her more appreciation of having what most Filipinos lack:

"man, so, if you ever want to believe that your life sucks, go to the philippines, shower in the dark, flush your toilet with a bucket of water, sleep in a hut made of bamboo. try making less than $3.00 and day and feed your children. sleep on bed frames with a woven guitar strings as a mattress, try walking on a dirt floor inside your home, wash all your clothes by hand, try only being able to afford shampoo and conditioner in individual sample packs, because a whole bottle is too expensive. and pray that you don't get sick because if you do, your idea of good medical treatment will be a six hour boat ride away, and you may not be able to afford that."

But as for me, Coming back from my motherland (Dipolog, Mindanao, Philippines)...I have more of an appreciation for my grandparents. Each one of them had dreams in their eyes of a better life, worked their asses off, went through the worst of racism, raised their kids in America and ultimately acheived that dream.

My Mother's Father, Canuto Salaver, came from the poorest of the poor. But because he was so intent on making a better life, he snuck his way onto a boat (yes, in this day of age...he would be considered an illegal alien) and without knowing anyone in America, made his way to California. Not only did he find work, but he also hussled his way into an American High School just to learn English. After that he made a name for himself here in San Francisco and owned the Very FIRST Filipino restuarant at the International Hotel, Called Mabuhay Gardens.

My Father's Mother, Encar Go, also dreamed for a better life. She came from a small province in Eastern Samar. She also didn't have an education past high school. But at the age of 23, she met & married my Grandpa, Marmerto Villanueva, because "he worked for the Navy & had his greencard". To most Americans, something like that is looked down on...but if you have nothing, you'll do something to make it happen. And back in the 50's, women didn't have choices like they do now (like working overseas as a nurse).

Don't get me wrong, like my cousin I do appreciate my American Life. But what I appreciate more after my trip to the Philippines are my ancestors, my grandparents and my culture. Cuz while I'm an American girl (YES, I still can't speak or understand Visayan) I still have my Filipino culture and traditions intact.

It feels good to not only know my family history...but to be proud of it too. Growing up, I knew about my grandparents struggles...but I wasn't as proud as I am today of what hard times they overcame just to give me what I have today.

Saturday, July 7, 2007

Hot Lunch Comedy Show: Recap

insert witty and insightful recap here


Wednesday, May 30, 2007

A New Found Love for....printed hoodies

IS that Miss Hilton?! don't break your teeth in jail, parhissss!
I love pink!

So lately, I've been addicted to graphic hoodies...especially ones that are cleverly designed. Where do I get all these goodies? And more urban gear?
Well, Click on this link...and you can get 20% off bags, shirts, shoes, jeans, hoodies (as seen above):
http://www.karmaloop.com/index.asp?rcode=NA13028

When it asks for a REP Code, enter this in the box: NA13028

Monday, May 21, 2007

Keep on Shinin'

"Let your light so shine before man, that they may see your good works & glorify your father in heaven"
Matthew 5:16

AND The most amazing quote on the subject of shining (as I first heard from the movie, Akeelah & the Bee and was also spoken by Nelson Mandela @ his 1994 Inaugural Speech, but written by Marianne Williamson):

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you NOT to be?

You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the World.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.
And as we let our own Light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

-Marianne Williamson






A New Found Love for...Watercolors

Female Artist: Stina Persson (http://www.stinapersson.com/)

Stina Persson has lived, studied and worked in Tokyo, New York, Florence and Lund, Sweden, where she was born. She says her illustration style is basically about "finding the right balance between the edgy and the elegant the raw and the beautiful." To achieve this, she uses ink, watercolor and gouache, as well as Mexican cut paper (used at ceremonies and festivals).

I love her use of watercolors. Brings a very modern feel to this art form. Growing up, as a daughter of an artist...my father was always forcing me to take up painting. Although my hands could never pick it up, my heart always kept room for the medium! I also love the way she paints her "girls" ...their sooo sexy, very elegant and portrayed like Lions: STRONG & Fierce!

Web Surfing Credit goes to: http://www.flygirls.typepad.com/

Friday, May 18, 2007

To Myspace Or Not to Myspace? That is the Question!

So since my 4 month withdrawal from the "please-validate-me-and-My-space" community...my life has become much more focused. And surprisingly...I haven't missed it all that much.

But now that i'm commiting myself to Stand up Comedy/Acting/Writing...and possibly some more producing & much later in life, directing...I'm contemplating getting back in with a NEW Comedy/Film profile. any thoughts?

Side Note: My REAL friends are AWESOME! oh and F*ck Petroleum! Werd!


Sooo COOL it Hurts: Miss Maxali & Bobby Drake

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Caterpillars & ChickFlicks on Steroids

Listening to: On My Own Time [Write On!] by Gym Class Heroes


What’s funny about manifesting? While underneath it all, you know YOU attracted certain things into your life …it was just a matter of time before the Universe would deliver. But on the otherhand…the exciting part is actually experiencing what you manifested and witnessing how AWESOME the Universe (& God) is. And how grand the things you receive truly are.

At the beginning of this year, I put out in the Universe that I wanted to spend more time with family…and after my hard work with the Vagina Monologues & the Women’s show…I really just wanted a weekend to myself to go to LA and spend time with friends. I got everything I asked for & MORE!!!!

Here's my weekend in a montage of visual memories:


Mahal & Lake: You can't see it, but they both have caterpillars on their hands!
Giddy UP!
Banging away at Renee's Piano
The cutest lil Oatmeal lover I know!
Topanga Canyon = So serene
Maya, Lake & Mahal...jumpin on the largest Trampolene ever!
My first take buddies: David & Jeff
Crazy cousins: Vivi & Tang (Happy B-day, Tang!)
The Foundation Room (House of Blues)
"Before they were stars!": Kristen, Jeff & Miss Maxali

My fav Godsister/Ate/Silly Cousin: Maya


Never stop dreaming...because what you dream = what you create, what you manifest, and what you achieve!

IT’s simply amazing how generous the Universe is…and how much God really wants to give you more then your heart could ever desire. Thank you God, the Universe, and myself for trusting in the process…and accepting what’s deserved after working soooo hard for 3 months on V Monologues & the Women’s show. Like Judith said “I deserved it”.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

expanding the possibilities on a DAILY!

“The thing about performance, even if it's only an illusion, is that it is a celebration of the fact that we do contain within ourselves infinite possibilities.”
-SydneySmith

This was sent to me in an e-mail by a fellow cast mate of the Bindlestiff Women's show 2007.

She's awesome...and so is that quote. It sums up one of the many reasons why I chose to perform as opposed to sit on my ass and do NOTHING!

Because in life, the possibilities are endless...people need to wake up and realize: You don't have to be stuck in that job, in that relationship, in debt, in hunger, in sadness, in hate, in society's box of normalcy. No, you can have whatever you wish...

Don't believe me? Watch the doc, "The Secret" or "What the Bleep Do We Know"!

Monday, March 19, 2007

you know what I feel like watching?



"The NeverEnding Story"! I have no idea why, it's just something about oldskool 80's fantasy movies that seem so calming right now. hmmmm, puts a smile on my face!

Wednesday, March 7, 2007

In honor of MARCH: National Women's History Month

"Whats up with all the conditions? Why are women so demanding? You're such a Bitch!"

Wow, can you believe the stupid things that come out of men's mouths?

Don't worry.... this won't be a typical Man-Hating rant. No this is more a product of a good 19 minutes of shedding off negative energy. Inspired by the ignorance the majority of men today in my generation have. And the way they think they can just disrespect us women.


So when men ask me questions such as these (example: Dang, why are you so uptight?) What I really hear is...Why do women deserve those conditions, those demands, and....my respect?

I'm sick of having to explain myself...but to honor the women that came before me...and for those girls growing into womenhood...let me spell it out for you:

Because honey, not matter how much the world would like to think everything is fair nowadays...it's not.

Because for the past 100 years conditions for us have been unfair and down right shitty!

Because some of us have finally seen the light. And have come to realize that as women we are ...not dumb...not stupid...not inferior!

Because in this new generation of women, we're looking out for ourselves (not our boyfriends, not our bosses, or our husbands).

Because in looking out for ourselves, we're not going to submissively ask politely anymore.

Because we're not going to wait around and hope you'll notice the things we deserve.

Because you won't. You know why?

Because you're too busy looking out for yourself too. Which...

Because you're a man...it's "okay" to look our for just yourself.

Because when you look out for yourself...it's not seen as being selfish or "diva-ish"...It's seen as being a MAN. Being assertive. And knowing what you want!

SO, I know you want to view us "demanding" women & judge us as bitches or "divas" or what ever pathetic jab you think of. But let me tell you...without us strong women, you'd be motherless, hopeless, and even more less of a man then you are today.

Because (and what pisses me off the most) if I was born with the same equipment you were endowed with...you wouldn't feel the need to ask me those questions in the first place or make those quick judgments about me. You'd blindly accept me the way I was and actually take notice that I was an assertive and straight-forward guy.

So don't come at me with "You're too demanding" or "why all the conditions?"

Because unlike you, I'm strong enough to be who I am and NOT make excuses or worse...apologize for who I am! We women are the way we are, the way our past has built us...STRONG-intelligent-take-no-shit-from-anybody-kick-ass women!

and you better NOT respond to this with a "You go girl"!

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Still in bed....can't sleep

Can't sleep. Should Sleep. Still Sick. Blah!

It's the head cold that won't stop. Tried to go into work today...got 30 min. of work done, then had a 2 hour conference call. The whole time I'm thinking "my head feel like it's going to explode or that it already did & I'm left with the remains of that nuclear explosion" also thinking "concentrate on what the fuck is goin on in this call...you'll be tested later, moron!"

After that excrutiating call, I called it quits. Went home. Probably got everyone in the office sick. :P

One good thing that came out of today...Dad came by to drop off a care package of:

Food: Mexican
Oranges
Tea: Mint Magic (with a unicorn on the box! Cool!)
Meds
Chicken Soup
Tortillas
and Monterey Jack Cheese

He said, he got the last two items so I can make quesedillas. Daddy's the best! He still remembers what my favorite cheese was growing up as a kid. And the Unicorn on the tea box...nice touch. He really knows how to make me feel better. I'm blessed.

Screw what people say! I'll ALWAYS be Daddy's lil girl!

Monday, February 26, 2007

Grrrrrrrrrrrrr

Current Mood: Aggravated

Is it soo hard to have a boyfriend that will drop everything to come and take care of you when you're sick?

Things to manifest today:

Vietnamese Soup with extra Hot Sauce
Sponge Cake for dessert
Cough Drops
Cold Medecine
Heroes (past 2 weeks episodes)
LOVE
& Someone to give me these things while I'm stuck in bed feeling HORRIBLE

When I want it:
NOW!!!

enlightened thought of the day:
Being sick makes me needy & crabby...oh and Vietnamese Soup is good for colds

"Calling in Sick"...AGAIN!

Currently listening to: The Skyflakes "Calling in Sick"

"Hit the snooze and sleep I'm calling in sick
Fake my cough and smile I'm calling in sick
Lay here for a while and make up my mind
Lick my tabs it's time to go on a trip"

So after an 8 hour day of rehearsals (Bindlestiff's Women's Show & Vagina Monologues Rehearsal)...I went home drained, exhausted, nose stuffed, and head a bit feverish. I always know when I'm coming down with something when my eyes feel like hot coals.

Last night, I lay in bed half asleep/half conscience...watching the A-listers, the Big Shots, and the Underdogs decked out in designer gowns and penguin suits..aka the 79th Academy Awards. I usually don't watch the ceremony. My attention span is limited to who's wearing who/what and then the end of the night: the re-caps and the big party coverage.

But because I was on the brink of a cold...I managed to nap inbetween important awards, Ellen's witty & hilrious hosting skills/celeb banter, & some what entertaining commercials. (Sidenote: Ellen & I share the same b-day: Jan. 26th!)

As the last three awards were being handed out...I awoke to Forest's hearfelt speech. As he spoke...i started to get chills. I was watching another actor take the words right out of my journal. His acceptance speech word for word is as follows:

“Thank you. Thank you. Just a second, just a second. OK. Take it (in).

OK. I wrote something down, because I thought if it would happen that I would be a little overwhelmed and I am. So, OK.

When I was a kid, the only way that I saw movies was from the backseat of my family's car. At the drive-in. And, it wasn't my reality to think I would be acting in movies, so receiving this honor tonight tells me that it's possible. It is possible for a kid from east Texas, raised in South Central L.A. in Carson, who believes in his dreams, commits himself to them with his heart, to touch them, and to have them happen.

Because when I first started acting, it was because of my desire to connect to everyone. To that thing inside each of us. That light that I believe exists in all of us. Because acting for me is about believing in that connection and it's a connection so strong, it's a connection so deep, that we feel it. And through our combined belief, we can create a new reality.

So I want to thank my fellow believers in The Last King of Scotland. I want to thank Peter, Jeremy, Andrea, Lisa, Charles, Kevin, James McAvoy, Kerry, Stephen, Fox, DNA, Channel Four. I want to thank the people of Uganda, who helped this film have a spirit. And finally, I want to thank my mom and my dad. I want to thank my wife Keisha, my children, my ancestors, who continue to guide my steps. And God, God who believes in us all. And who's given me this moment, in this lifetime, that I will hopefully carry to the end of my lifetime into the next lifetime. Thank you.”

I know you don't believe me. You're reading this entry and sayin..."no way". So, to end your skeptism... This is an excerpt from my Spiritual Journal...a journal I've kept since 2003:

"I cut this out of Blackbook Magazine. WHY? Because it's a reminder that everyone in this Universe is connected (whether we realize it or not) to each other and God. This picture is how I envision God sees us, great points of LIGHT, all connected to each other, all beautiful (no matter what "sins" we've commited), and all glorious together."

The picture i was talking about in my journal is a piece done by artist, Angie Drakopoulous:

Another piece of his speech that struck a chord in me, was his appreciation to his ancestors. Ever since I was a teenager, I knew the importance of my ancestors. I think it's something ingrained into the Filipino-American culture. To always appreciate the family that came before you. To understand and give gratitude for the sacrifices they gave to make your life what it is today. Without them, I wouldn't be here.

And after my last grandpa passed away in 2003, I felt something. Like Voltron: Protector of the Universe! (ok, this is a geeky analogy, but on point nonetheless)

When my grandpa passed on to the other side, It was like Voltron must feel when each of the five Lions come together to create him/her. It was as if his soul infused with all my ancestors to guide and protect me. (To Western Christians, it's like the belief in Angels). I felt like I had another ally on my side. To help me along my God-Given path. One that would help look out for me. An ally that had my back! I feel this and I appreciate my ancestors.

Forest stated in an interview, "I wasn't sure what was going to happen tonight but I thought something magical was going to happen," Whitaker said backstage after receiving the award. "Because I could feel the breath on my neck and the tingling on my body. For me it is like my ancestors speaking to me and they are saying to me, 'We are with you.'"

And like Forest Whitaker, I too started to act, not for fame or money, but because I wanted to give something back to this world. To give to my audience. To share with an audience a piece of me. To wake up audiences around the world through my art. To be a vessel that gives a voice to others that don't have a chance to tell their stories. To in turn change the world positively. And I feel I can do that in my acting, writing, and comedic delivery.

And just like Mr. Whitaker...Someday when the Universe is ready and with help from God & my ancestors, i too will win an Oscar. No, not for Best Actress or even for Best Supporting Actress...But for Best Original Screenplay! :)




Dang, not only is he a BLessed soul with great intentions...but he also has a HOT wife

To watch his full acceptance speech, cut & paste this link into your browser:


http://www.firstshowing.net/2007/02/26/forest-whitakers-acceptance-speech/

Friday, February 23, 2007

My Support System...

My shining STAR: Grandma Estrella (RIP)
The one I can thank for sacrificing so much: Grandma Encar!

No, this isn't my sister: It's my MOM!


The Dynamic Duo: Daddyand my Stepmom (Mama Luv)

Monday, February 12, 2007

A Mayan reading of my birthday

White Lunar Mirror


Tone 2: Lunar - Relationships & Polarity

White Mirror is your Conscious Self - who you are and who you are becoming.

White Mirror represents the Hall of Mirrors, where you can face your own reflection and see the truth about yourself. As a mirror, White Mirror merely reflects what is, whether truth, beauty or illusion. Here you can face unfinished business, the dissonance of difficulties, or charged issues that would keep you from the full expression of your Divinity. Become aware of any illusions or distortions within yourself; your clarity of perception will transform them. Take a moment to see yourself as you actually are, shadow and all, freed from the maze of mental illusion.Sometimes you may find yourself reacting rather than freely responding to a situation or person. If you have charged reactions such as frustration, anger, fear, judgement or jealousy, look at how you might be projecting these issues onto someone else. The world is the mirror for you to truly see. Any strong reaction to a person or event signals an issue to work on in yourself. Be willing to examine and utilize what you see in your mirrors, in order to transform dysfunctional belief systems, negative thoughtforms, and fixed patterns.In the Hall of Mirrors there is no good or bad, no right or wrong - there is only the reflection of what is. As you learn to see yourself, you begin to see your emotional reactions as signs indicating where to focus your awareness for growth.On this quest, come prepared to face White Mirror's sword of truth and purification. The wisdom of this sword penetrates, exposes, and ultimately heals your illusions. Discrimination is tempered with love cleanly cuts away everything that does not serve your evolution. To the Maya, White Mirror is the flint that hones your sword.The greatest gift of the sword is the power of forgiveness. A profound freedom emerges from forgiveness, the releasing of the illusion of cause and effect. Use the great gifts offered in this blad of truth and light to forgive and release anything you may judge or see as imperfect.You are already an Enlightened Being!
The colour for White Mirror is reflective silver. Silver symbolizes the lunar intelligence of intuition and receptiveness, the mirrored illusions of duality and multiplicity. In the larger pattern, all thigns are reflections of the greater reality. Silver offers a glimpse of the Great Mystery, the reflection of things as they really are. To access the qualities and teachings of White Mirror, utilize silver.White Mirror's are able to clearly reflect others back to themselves once their own mirror is clear.

White Dog is your Higher Self & Guide.

One of the gifts of White Dog is the calling in and recognition of other companions of destiny. Other beings with the same longing are waiting to meet and acknowledge you - beings who can see you as you authrentically are. When you have truly been seen, you feel empowered, and remembrance of a shared sacred trust is ignited. This is a natural process, divinely designed for recognition through vibrational affinity, freed from personal expectations.White Dog can be seen as an access point for developing relationships with guides, totems, allies and guardians. There are many ways to work with these spiritual guides, including guided visualizations, shamanic journeys, and meditation. A useful construct is viewing them as aspects of yourself, part of your life stream that is asking to be integrated. Remember, there is no 'other'. In this grand adventure, you are being asked to embody all that you are.Profound insights are garnered through shared purpose and relationship with others who are willing to be in their truth and integrity about the light and shadow aspects they perceive in themselves.Similarly, intimate relationships can be viewed as unique opportunities to bring forward in each other deep emotional patterns to be transformed. In this case, those you have drawn to you hold the ability to assist you in your own integration as well. There are no mistakes. Be willing to look deeply into the truth held within any relationship. The expression of intimacy is a gift of love; the lack of it may be a symptom asking for honest communication and healing. It may also be guiding you to reevaluate your relationship and the purpose it is serving.
White Dog signals a breakthrough in your life: new beginnings, new perceptions, new allies and friends. As you express more authentically who you are, you draw your true family closer to you.With your guides and companions, you have the ability to manifest your inspired visions and dreams. Recognize the eyes and hearts that spark the remembrance of a sacred trust.The Harmonic Wisdom of White Dog is affinity, the attraction of like vibrations or substances for one another.

Blue Night is your Subconscious Self and Hidden Helper.
Blue night is the dark mystery within, the journey into self, that place to which you can always retreat to garner the gifts of your process subjectively. You are being asked to enter into and explore your process subjectively. Blue Night is the immense field of potential found in the depths of human emotion and feeling. The touch of Blue Night is like the moment you crawl into bed and feel yourself surrounded by warmth, darkness and peace.Blue Night's abyss holds the potent evolutionary playing field of all possibility. Here, as in the aboriginal dreamtime, there are no distinctions between then and now, real or imagined, dream or dreamer. In this expanded field, all things are not only possible but are constantly in the process of creation. In the framework of dreamtime, limiting constructs of "ordinary reality" such as time, space, and linear causality are freed into an expanded system, with unlimited access to ALL realities.Dreamtime holds powerful opportunities. It is a field where potential, past, and future are held in the same matrix as the present moment. If such a construct is foreign to you, stretch your mind and entertain the possibility that you could help to dream a different reality into being. Enter into the mystery where reality is actually created.In becoming a conscious dreamer, you can assist in literally creating a new reality for yourself, as well as constributing to the larger dream that is emerging. By focusing on this creation, your thoughts and intentions are projected at superluminal speeds across the crystal grid network that encompasses universes. This energetic field seeds, supports, and empowers the creation of an unfolding reality.At a certain point, when a critical threshold of energy has been focused on a clear intent such as world peace, the underlying constructs of reality shift and a new reality begins filtering into human experience. Make no mistake: great change is seeded by conscious dreamers who understand and know that they are co-creating the larger dream.Among other things, the dreamfield will bring to the surface your psychological polarities and core issues. These are the belief constructs you learn from society and experience, such as likes and dislikes, values and attitudes. You naturally attract the situation that promises integration, but through conditioning and habitual behaviour, you may choose to compensate, staying in a fixed pattern to protect your position. This choice will create only momentary relief, because the issues will keep being drawn back to be integrated. Thus, you may often find whatever is blocked or hidden manifesting into your consciousness through a dream, a body symptom, or a relationship. Often you may resist the new and the unknown. You may avoid going over your "growth edge", because it may be asking for a shift in your underlying belief structures. Yet profound growth is possible through working with this charged material. Through following it into the darkness, you bring into the dreamfield the light that will carry you to wholeness and fulfillment.In working with the growth edge in your dreamfield, often it is important to catalyze enough energy to free the stuckness and fixed patterns. By following or amplifying the feeling, your increased awareness will lead to the root of the issue thas has been separated from consciousness. Hidden within the unused channels of your perception are clues to the mystery that will integrate and release the restrictive pattern.A meditation for Blue Night is, "I am the darkness that is the light and the stillness that is the dancing." This meditation perfectly describes the paradoxical energy of Blue Night, the place of darkness from which all light emanates, the no-form abyss that contains all possibility. In finding this still point of Blue Night, you can access any expression of the light. The energy of Blue Night simply asks you to be still, to allow that expression to take shape from the darkness. From the darkness of Blue Night emerges the Essence Self. Sit in stillness, embracing the journey of insight and integration.The colour of Blue Night is black, which represents the womb of the larger self, the receptive condition necessary to receive the light fully. Black is also an access route to the wisdom of the unconscious, the mystery of the abyss where you can tap into the collective dreamfield for insight and creative ideas. Blue Night also includes the shades of gray, symbolic of the merging of light with the darkness. If you wish to work with the energy of Blue Night, visualize black.

Yellow Star represents your Challenge and Gift.
With maturity and awareness this challenge will turn into a Focus. This is what you desire to learn in this lifetime.

One shadow of Yellow Star is believing in an exclusive path or that there is only one true or right system to bring you to enlightenment. However, your personal path is unique. Listen and learn from all teachers, but know that it is up to you to integrate their wisdom into your own truth. The wise way show-er encourages you to be open to all teachings, to follow your own heart's path.Another shadow of Yellow Star is that your life's lessons place you in the midst of disharmonious situations. This may be experienced as living and working with people with whom you feel confict or friction. Another aspect of this shadow is the judgement that sometimes follows from holding harmony as an ideal. All the ways you walk your path can be steps in the practice of harmony. Enact harmony through your relationships, emotions, environment, and expanded viewpoints.The transformation offered in the shadow of Yellow Star is found by becoming aware of the existing harmony or disharmony in your life. Be willing to appreciate or prune where necessary. Call on wisdom and love to facilitate this pruning process. Open more fully to harmony in all aspects of your life. This harmony of self and one's life becomes the foundation of freedom.You may also judge yourself because you can't seem to remember all that you are. Perhaps you are trying to figure out your purpose, awaken to your destiny, or understand why you came here. Simplify. Look at your present gifts and talents. Free your thoughts and your self-critical nature. You are, in this moment, the sum total of all that you are, have been, and the potential of your complete becoming. Simply be yourself, for only this will open you to the magic of your untapped potential.Unlike the preceding 7 tones, which were seperate and distinct, Yellow Star begins a more complex harmonic series as it completes the preceding octave. On a spiritual level, Yellow Star begins the development of higher being. The fundamental tones that occur in this series are of a more expanded frequency than those of the preceding seven tones. In this new octave, there is alignment in the harmonies of Earth and the harmonies of the stars that are now being sounded on Earth. Yellow Star is the first in a series of star harmonies that evoke accelerated growth of the starseed potential within you.Yellow Star offers you the ability to hold a greatly expanded focus, a unity of awareness that encompasses aspects of the larger constellation of self. An example of this would be a simultaneous awareness of the desires of the existential self and the truth of the Essence Self. This star harmony encompasses the greatly enlarged perspective of your starseeded self, the part within you that holds the potential of your greatest destiny.

Red Dragon is your Compliment - something that comes naturally to you.

Red Dragon represents the root source of life, the nurturance and support of primary being, and within it are found the primal waters of unity. This is where your deepest roots receive true nourishment. Red Dragon is the energy of form contained within the formlessness of the primordial sea.
Primal trust means making choices with no guarantees, knowing that divine nurturance will provide what is needed for your journey. It means making choices moment by moment, implicitly trusting your innate steering mechanism of heart-knowing. Primal trust implies surrendering to the will of the divine self, letting go of what your ego deems to be control of the outcomes in your life. It means deeply trusting the processes that are at work within your present spiral of evolution.The energy of Red Dragon asks you to embrace the depth of your receptivity. Perhaps you have been taught that it is better to give than to receive. Giving is a powerful way to learn how to receive, but it is not the whole picture. There is a circuit of completion in giving and receiving that happens within you and in your external world at the same time. If you trust unconditionally in the giving, you are not attached to how the gift is received. When you freely give, you fill your cup with sweet waters, which you can then offern innocently and purely to another. Know, on one level, that your gift is poured out universally regardless of how it appears to be received. However, when the gift comes from the ego, it is limited by expectations and conditions. Love just is. It is neither given nor taken; rather it is simply discovered and allowed.The universe is an inseparable whole. Red Dragon represents the energy matrix lines that look like a web in the universe, through which all points are connected in time and space. This energetic web of communication is known as the 'crystal grid network.' It is a cauldron of creation, a potent field in which all things are not only possible but constantly being created. Within this grid, the linear causality of time and space has been freed into an open system in which all time and all space exist and interact simultaneously. This grid connects the larger holograms of reality with our own. Its energy lines connect all places, times and events - even those that are seemingly unrelated. All phenomena and all actions are part of this larger whole; it is the very foundation for telepathy and synchronicity. Red Dragon embodies unity, in which all things are one with the Source.

Your Tone is Tone 2 - Lunar

Loom of reality, sacred twins, cooperation, relationship, polarity of male and female, duality.
Two is the ray of polarity: the sacred twins, smoky mirror and the clear reflection, all things in relationship. Polarity is the loom on which reality is strung, the magnetic dance of universal forces. Within the mirror of polarity, you will find the many faces of illusion, as well as ultimate freedom from illusion.
Polarity reveals your conflicts, struggles, and the apparent separation created by your beliefs in duality. Examine your attractions and aversions. Discover the loom of reality that is intricately woven in relationship. Utilize the teachings that are held in the number two. Polarized positions actually work in cooperative alliance. In cooperation, all polarities serve as backgrounds for full appreciation of one another and the whole.
Also examine the polarity of male and female within yourself. Explore your divine feminine and masculine aspects. Look for the gifts within your relationships. Invesitage the polarities within them, and explore the natural lines of force and growth they create. Remember, polarity is the pulse of Universal Source!

In the shadow of Blue Hand

In the shadow of Blue Hand are spiritual distractions and resistances. As you hit 'growth edges', you can experience issues and resistance to revealing your true beauty and power. On your path, you will always be offered access to tools and further initiations. Think back to a time when you were offered such a gift, to a time when you embarked on a new quest or possibility. Remember the feeling of spiritual grace that accompanied that gift. Watch for other such openings that will be offered. They may appear in unusual circumstances. You may even find them in times of emotional crisis and amidst unusual access to hidden potentials. Becoming aware of these initiatory portals opens the door to guides and allies. It can also break the spell of distractions and reactive behaviours.

Another shadow of Blue Hand is difficulty in completing things. Completion is especially difficult if you feel inadequate or displeased with the possible outcome of your efforts. If you take on too much, you may become too pressured and scattered to finish. You may also relish the creative process but lose motivation because of hidden issues or what appears as the hard work required to finish. Completion becomes easier if you allow yourself to be excited and satisfied by the steps along the way.

Another shadow of Blue Hand is not having the desire and discipline needed to master a tool (such as meditation, healing, or some aspect of the creative arts). It is important to remember that committment, focused intent, and openness are all necessary to the acquisitions of any new skill.

A related shadow of Blue Hand is in believing that the tool has the power. However, tools are simply vehicles for your connection with the Divine. Do you think your ability to access information using such things as tarot cards and astrology charts come from the symbols or system? The tool simply provides a means for you to focus, to open to the truth being revealed through the metaphor. If you are overidentified and attached to your tools - books, crystals, symbols, systems and so on - you may believe the power is outside yourself. Open to the clarity of your mystical nature. You are the tool through which Spirit speaks. You are the open vessel in which the light can play.

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